We decided that we need a vacation...from everything- from work, from friends, from family, from trying to have a baby.  We are going on a cruise in May to the Cayman Islands and Cozumel, Mexico.  I'm hoping that planning this will keep my mind off of the fact that we haven't been able to conceive yet.  We are not going to prevent pregnancy for the next couple of months, but we are not going to make it the main focus of our lives.  It was just beginning to be too much and way too stressful. 

We will eventually have to come back to the real world. My doctor said that if we don't conceive by May, he will start to run some tests.  I am terrified of what is to come, but for now I am thinking about relaxing in the Caribbean with the man I love. 

Last time I wrote in here, I was saying how I kept thinking I was pregnant.  I did finally get over it (to some degree).  Now we have a house and nothing is stopping us from having a baby...except my slow thyroid.  I went to the doctor in May, because I was having some weird symptoms that I had been worrying about for a while.  Turns out my thyroid is underactive.  My doctor recommended that we put off trying to get pregnant until the issue is fixed (probably with medication, which I may have to take for the rest of my life), because hypoactive thyroids can cause people to have difficulty getting and staying pregnant.  I just took my second blood test last Friday (I had to wait over 6 weeks from the first one), and I'm waiting to hear back from the doctor about going on medication for it. If I do get on something for it, it may be another 6, 12, 18, etc. weeks before we can find the right "cocktail" to suit my lazy thyroid needs, which means putting off getting pregnant until it is working properly. 

My husband has been having major baby fever since we moved into our house in April.  He wants to start trying to conceive as soon as possible.  When the doctor told me we should put off trying until my thyroid issues are resolved, I have to admit I was a bit relieved to push it off for a couple of months.  I'm terrified of having a child.  I'm afraid to give up life as I know it.  I feel like I'm too selfish to be a mom at this point in my life.  I want to have more money saved.  When is anyone ever really ready?  I don't think I ever will be! I'm not getting any younger, and I really do want to have kids at some point. I've always wanted a big family.  I just want to be completely and totally ready.  What can I say? I'm a planner.  I feel like I need to have everything figured out financially before we start having kids.   

A new fear I have is that when I get pregnant, my thyroid will go all crazy...and it will cause me to miscarry or cause my child to have birth defects (I have been looking up way too much stuff online about thyroid problems during pregnancy...I need to stay away from the internet!).  Now I have a new set of fears to add to the ones I've always had.  Sigh. 

How did you know you were ready to have children?  Did you or someone you know have an underactive thyroid during pregnancy?  Were you ever relieved to put off trying to conceive?

Let me start by saying that I am dating the most AMAZING guy I have ever met.  We get along great, and he treats me so much better than anyone in my life ever has. We have been together for two years, and I love being with him.  He is beautiful inside and out; I can't imagine my life without him.  Recently we have been talking about marriage, but there's a part of me that's just not so sure about it.  For the last year or so I haven't been all that sexually attracted to him.  I like to kiss him, but I don't have strong urges to do anything else.  He wants to get physical all the time, and my low libido has been a bit of a problem.  He thinks I'm not attracted to him, but I really haven't been all that attracted to anyone recently.  I don't want him to feel bad about himself, so I usually do more than I'm really in the mood for.  There's a part of me that thinks I should let him go, because it's not fair that he's with a girl who doesn't desire him the way he desires me.  There's the other part of me that knows that I could be happy with him for the rest of my life.  I have never come close to caring about another guy this much.  It's hard to let that go, so I feel selfish for staying with him. 

I've never had a very strong sex drive, and it's gotten so much worse since I've gotten on birth control.  I've even tried different kinds, but they always have the same results...I become practically nonsexual. 

I'm not sure what to do.  Should I selfishly stay with him knowing that I may never want him the way he wants me (sexually)?  Should I let him go so that he can find someone whose libido is somewhat closer to his?  Has anyone else had the problem with birth control?  Did anything help?